Listen to Me Now: When Words Collide

It’s also the hardest lesson to learn.

Once you are officially a licensed funeral director, you can begin meeting with families on your own. You can go on death calls by yourself. You can take phone calls and sign off on legal documents. You can go over pricing information with shoppers. You can do everything an apprentice cannot. It’s the big time. What you say is being listened to intently. By everyone. Your boss. Your families. Your church associates. Your cemetery personnel.

With great power comes great responsibility.

My first-ever arrangement as a licensed director was going well.

“I have a wife, not a husband.”

GULP. I think I’m dead. I just looked a grown woman in the eyes and asked what her husband’s name was. You know what happens when you assume, right? I was the ass, indeed. I assumed she was married to a man and found out she was married to a woman. I was mortified by my mistake. I turned bright red, apologized, and asked the spelling of her wife’s name. Meanwhile, the owner was in the back just smiling and shaking his head. After the arrangement ended, he turned to me and said, “Well, you won’t make that mistake again, will you?” No sir, I will not. And I never have since.



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Noah Watry

Noah Watry

Licensed Funeral Director, Embalmer, Life Insurance Agent, and FSA. I write about life, death, and everything in between. Books available here: