I used to think they were laughing with me, but in reality, they were laughing at me. I always knew this, but I guess it’s what I wanted. I was choosing to act this way, after all. I had craved attention, in ways that didn’t matter to me in how it was given. Deep down, however, I wanted to be serious. I wanted to try. To care. To be something that mattered. Being the class clown has its disadvantages though.

Imagine the response when I let it be known I had interest in becoming a funeral director. The year was 2002 and I was a junior in high school. The thought first occurred to me during a field trip through our social sciences class. In it, we…

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